as you said

me : Nak sambung tidur, saya terbangun tadi to get few sips of water.
mrJudge: Tidurlah. Kirim salam orang yang awak mimpikan.
me : Assalamualaikum. Jawablah!

Can't take my mind of you.

fatso

After Forensic Medicine practical session yesterday, I went straight to Diva to get a new hair cut. But then I ended up doing something else. Chatting with the stylist, at last promised him to come on Sunday. Santosh is still a chirpy chap who never fail to comment on my appearance. This time he was commenting on my weight gain since the last time he met me. I've been taking a back seat and watching my weight rebound a whooping 5 kilos. And if I eventually do gain more of the weight I so painstaking lost for the last 2 years, it would be a waste of my effort, which was really hard and painful too. So I am officially starting my diet tomorrow (oh no, better start on Monday kot), but I am having a go at a new regime this time, no more hunger and suffering, but more of a content and portion control. Let's see where this leads. I can imagine wearing new rs3800 Clarks sandal sponsored by Husna&Ella, and not to let down 100 roses from mrGM. itulah sape suruh korang berjanji bagai kan...

I have to lose some weight, and it's not because of vanity. It's because I don't feel comfortable with myself. I feel parts of me just clinging to other parts they shouldn't, and it makes me feel that I have to spread out my arms and legs so all my limbs don't touch each other. So that makes me a little nervous and insecure, not to mention psychotic!

So who's with me?


a vegan diet.

Does age really matter?

There's a reason for her to wake up each morning. and for him, there is a purpose in life - to look after someone.

Just my two cents.

my agony

I shall say goodbye to my comfy jeans, if i still want to peacefully roaming around Baptist Hospital.


I bought her from Bangalore Central during winter sale last year.


Early this year, she started occupying my closet.


My Levi 567s, freaking love it.

Thank you to Abbeychakkur (read:Abeychacko), and now I am scratching my head thinking what to buy this Saturday in order to please Dr.Cherian with my new professional image. Jean skirt can?. With eyes closed, shopping spree this Saturday won't give justice to my account balance. After this, I think I need to turn into cheapskate who won't spend unless it's a bargain. Skirts, new hair cut and mp3 which I have been eyeing for months. Alahai...


Samsung p2 vs Cowon d2.

Update:
Half a day searching along Brigade Road and Commercial Street with mrGM, I ended up buying the blue 4GB iPod nano (tak sangka kan!), four new tops (those gorgeous kurtis) and a pink bag. Alahai, need to puasa after this!

cikNa's birthday party

Noodle Bar
19th Sept 2008

perplexity

Walking is a great way to clear my thoughts, speak to myself and reflect my day. Sometimes, I could even get very emotional just swimming into my deep thoughts, which I am not completely proud of. We all lack of discipline. I know I do.Sometimes, the unintended given impression is used to reason out why I am not discipline which I think should not be the case. I need to change.

Enough said.
I am done.


Damien Rice is surely a superb entertainer. Wickedly good tone on the acoustic guitar. And the strings, glorious! He really knows how to inject a big fat slice of emotion into music. I am in love, with the song (and simply not because he is an Irish).

sigh

Aku sendiri pelik, bagaimana menjawab soalan tentang perasaan sedangkan aku sendiri tidak memahami bagaimana perasaan itu datang. Aku cuba untuk mencari logiknya. Perasaan itu terlalu sukar untuk difahamkan hanya dengan kata-kata. I don’t expect him to love me, but I don’t want him to hate me. Cukuplah.


Faiz Fahmi (lil bro)

Tadi aku habiskan masa bersama adik yang anehnya miliki persamaan yang mirip sekali dengan aku, Farid Nazmi. Kalau dulu dia di Shriram, sekarang sudah pindah keluar ke rumah yang lebih dekat jaraknya dengan kolej. Kami makan tengahari di Beijing Bites, yang anehnya juga kegemaran kami berdua. Bercakap dengan dia, perasaannya sama berbual dengan adik kandung aku Faiz yang cukup aku rindu akhir-akhir ini. Lunch yang santai itu disertai Nabila, junior baru. Seronok pula bersembang hal yang macam-macam.


Beijing Bites, BEL Road.

I am confused. I've arrived at a point in my life where I am not sure either being a doctor is really what i wanted. To devote myself in a job which requires tremendous effort, but still you fail to conquer. Life and death, we are playing God.

I needed a break.

keindahan di bawah langit (tanpa) bintang

Mahu nangis.

Itu yang aku rasakan beberapa hari ini. Entah PMS yang mulai menggila, entah banyaknya pressure (alahai, pressure!) yang akhir-akhir ini rasanya tidak pernah berhenti. Aku sendirian lagi melihat langit. Kosong, yang ada hanya gelap tanpa titik-titik cahaya. Aku berasa cukup dalam keheningan yang tenteram itu. Kebelakangan ini aku lelah berfikir, mempersoalkan sesuatu dan penat mengurus emosi. Menikmati setiap minit pada malam yang samar-samar bintangnya, aku terasa damai.Dalam tatapan kosong dan sisa airmata yang mengering di pipi, peliknya aku masih bernyawa.


Aku rindu akan dua manusia itu, yang mengalir di tubuhku kecintaan mereka. Aku mahu kecekalan ayah dan kesabaran ibu. Juga rindukan ayah cik dan masa-masa lalu di Selayang.


Ayah cik (he's like my second father)


Adik boleh ubatkan mak.

yang berjiwa besar

"The main purpose of the Hikayat Seri Rama is to show the ideals of righteousness, love, loyalty, and selfless devotion."



Aku suka idea penerbitannya, dan pemilihan jiwa besar yang memberi nafas kepada watak-watak kecil. Dalam dunia kecil mereka aku belajar nilai baru, ertinya kesederhanaan.

color matter?

You would never think it's possible-
a black man in the white house but there you go.

Untuk kesabaran

The sky was clear and the bright stars shimmered. I just love watching the stars. Infact my idea of a romantic date is just sitting together in an open field watching the stars.

Looking at the stars is just like travelling back in time... you see them as they were, not as they are. The stars are hundreds, thousands, and even millions of light years away, so what you see today is something that sparkled in the past; some may no longer exist today, some may have ended the star life cycle by now. Watching the stars made me smile. It's in the simplest existence,in the humblest company and in the emptiest moments that I learned to appreciate what I had, and find happiness right where I was.

Aku teringat sesuatu. Tepatnya, seseorang.



Sudah empat tahun.

Dia memang gila (tak malu juga) but he'd been a wonderful friend throughout his life. Not only for me but for others also. Missing him so much but he definitely can't accompany me watching the stars. He passed away in a motorbike accident when I was just to register for my foundation year in Banting. He's not here but I could feel him.I could picture him smiling in between the stars.

Al- Fatihah.

Menjelajah ruang.

di luar hujan
sambil menunggu teduh,
diam-diam aku berharap kau mengingatku.



Aku masih sibuk meneka warna, mencerna tanya, menebak harap hari-hari meruang dan membias dalam duga yang berulang. Aku mahu melakar kisah dari tanah di bawah pelangi. Dan aku ingin pengertian kamu.

Setitis embunkah setitis hujankah
cemerlang, menitis jatuh,
kerlap bintang memencil kecil
di sela daun-daun.

(Pablo Neruda)

Ranting.

The most important human right is the right to dream. I always have a dream to live in a world where people love unconditionally. Where we walk side by side, knowing we surely have a shoulder to cry on. The very best we can give each other is our love, not our advice, and certainly not our judgment.

spreading the love

Ada majlis sambutan hari raya untuk pelajar-pelajar Malaysia pagi tadi. Walaupon raya dah lepas (Diwali ke?), kemeriahan tetap terasa dengan students berbaju kurung dan baju Melayu (bersampin bagai). Tanpa ketupat dan rendang, beriyani pon jadi lah. Tapi tak sempat nak ambil gambar, sibuk ke sana sini.

Biro Dana IMAM-India Chapter kendalikan flowers dedication. Lepas maghrib tadi ada orang tekan loceng. Bila buka pinta ada four flower bouquets in front of my door. Ini kerja Awien, si flowergirl itu. Sangat terharu.


All the flowers.

A kind gesture from you at the time of need really made a different. Your kindness will always be remembered. Thank you so much!
From: Achik

Achik, terima kasih. Lin sangat terharu (silently). What i did all this while are sincerely what a friend should do, nothing in return. I hope we achieve what we want in live and i really appreciate you being there throughout my ups and downs.

Tetapi boleh jadi kamu tidak menyenangi sesuatu,padahal itu baik bagimu,dan boleh jadi kamu menyukai sesuatu,padahal itu tidak baik bagimu. Allah mengetahui sedangkan kamu tidak mengetahui. (Al-Baqarah:216)
Buat Syazlin (Kaklin), pabila seseorang itu boleh dibawa untuk berdiskusi,berkompromi serta mencari jalan tengah, insan itu sebenarnya telah memahami erti kematangan yang sebenar. Kehidupan tak semudah disangka. Akak lebih memahami kehidupan dibandingkan saya. Apapun, moga perjuanga kita di muka bumi sebagai khalifahNya mendapat rahmat dan berkah Ilahi. Salam perjuangan.

Farid Nazmi

Adik, thank you also for being you. A person who i admire for the vision and sincerity. Tiada kebetulan yang disengajakan.

Kaklin,
Thanx alot for your care during my 'red eye' time.
From: Dalina

You're welcome. Don't bother to reward that small help. I will always be there if you need me. Jangan nakal-nakal.

Lin,
Together forever.
From: Adi

Adi, sangat terharu. Terima kasih. (i suspect you did this to get my permission so you can freely do your flirting mission with all the cute adiks kan. just go ahead!).crocs clan bila nak buka keahlian?


Dah jadi hiasan our dining table. (Don't bother the weighing scale).


close up!